Quality and Innovation

Most people WANT to be “seen” and “heard” – in ways that make them feel respected and understood. Feelings of invisibility lead to distress, while being seen in the wrong ways (or for the wrong things) can be socially (and professionally) damaging. This is a dynamic that I explored extensively while writing Data, Strategy, Culture & Power and doing the R&D and product development work that ultimately led to TeamX AI.

It’s even a theme in popular psychology and mental health journals.

Why is this topic so popular? Because MANY people feel invisible and unheard. That initiative that you know could save your company a ton of time and money that no one will entertain? That problem that you know the solution to, but no one seems interested in hearing about? That complaint that you’ve submitted everywhere and yet it’s fallen on deaf ears? That feeling that it’s just NO USE speaking up, because nothing’s going to happen ANYWAY?

No matter where you begin, the majority of us end up at the corner of Despondent St. & Disillusionment Place at one time of another. WHAT’S THE PROBLEM? It’s usually one or more of these 4 things:

• #1 – THEY CAN’T SEE WHAT YOU SEE. The person expressing their viewpoint feels unheard because the other party lacks the context, experience, or knowledge to fully understand and appreciate their perspective. This lack of understanding can lead to feelings of frustration, disrespect, and a sense that one’s thoughts and opinions are not being given due consideration. Here are some examples:
  • Cultural differences: An employee from a different cultural background tries to express their discomfort with a company policy that conflicts with their values or beliefs. However, their manager, who is unfamiliar with the employee’s culture, fails to recognize the importance of the issue and dismisses the concern, leaving the employee feeling unheard and disrespected.
  • Personal experiences: A student confides in a teacher about a difficult home life situation that is affecting their academic performance. The teacher, who has never experienced similar hardships, fails to fully grasp the impact of the student’s circumstances and simply tells them to “try harder,” leaving the student feeling misunderstood and unsupported.
  • Professional expertise: A skilled technician attempts to explain to their supervisor why a particular project requires a specific approach based on their years of experience and knowledge in the field. However, the supervisor, who lacks the same technical background, insists on a different method without considering the technician’s insights, causing the technician to feel that their expertise is not being recognized or valued.
• #2 – THEY DON’T AGREE WITH YOU. Maybe they’re hearing just fine, but they don’t think you’re right, don’t agree that there’s a problem, or don’t think your work is particularly noteworthy. In cases like this, trying to convince them is often fruitless. For reasons why, read any of Greg Satell’s work on resistance, e.g. https://digitaltonto.com/2020/how-to-overcome-resistance-to-change/
• #3 – THERE’S SOMETHING BLOCKING THE FREE FLOW OF INFORMATION. This can be as simple as a language barrier, as insidious as a “style barrier” (for example, if loud or obnoxious people immediately turn you off) or gender bias (men hearing other men repeat what women said, but not the original woman’s words), as complete as a values barrier (for example, in political debates), or as damaging as unconscious bias.
• #4 – THEY ARE REWARDED BY NOT HEARING YOU. Not everyone wants or needs to hear everyone else, and this can be particularly apparent when there is a power differential between two people. For example, if you feel like your boss isn’t listening to a concern, you may try harder to get their attention or to bring them along to your side. When you try harder to please them, it solidifies their role as the person with greater power, and keeps you busy trying to please them instead of doing things that might oppose their agenda.

If you don’t feel seen or heard, explore whether any of these factors may be in play. We are ALL valuable to SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE… and it’s possible the people you want to hear you or recognize you are never going to come around! A little bit of pragmatism and perspective can help you find the people who will help you be the most valuable, recognized, and self-actualized person you can be.